みなさん,こんばんは!
Yeah, you already know I'm back at it again with the Japanese study. I guess you can say I was inspired by a study partner of mine! I haven't learned how to use 漢字 yet, but that's on my to-do list!
The prime motivator for me this time is the fact that I really need to keep my head above water when I move to Japan! I mean, having a baseline knowledge could save me so much time and embarrassment in the long run. Plus, I don't wanna be a nuisance to my せんせい, and have to ask her a bunch of questions, so I'm carrying on learning as much Japanese as I can!
I suppose it's appropriate to use this blog as a place to shitpost in Japanese, because after all, this blog was initially my record of learning Japanese. And yes, I'm aware that I look like a ginormous weeb, talking in hiragana like this. :/ I just wanna practice, man. Gimmie a break.
Anyway, the past few days have been decent. I've continued making Japanese friends, and I already feel more familiar with Japanese culture. That said, I still have a lot of work to do, and I'm more eager to learn than ever!
But, before I say anything else, I want to express something that happened today-- something that's been on my mind. I broke up with my girlfriend, Carleigh.
Honestly, the experience hurt me more than I thought it would, and I feel that she came out the other side in more pain than I'm in. Breaking up is something I've always been terrible at, and this it was something I'd been considering for a while now. No, Carleigh didn't say anything to hurt me, but I felt that it was appropriate. Seeing as how I'll be going on a new adventure in May, I figured it was best that I do what I had to do promptly and swiftly.
When it comes to relationships, we all have needs. When I'm romantically involved with someone, being able to have contact with that person regularly is critical. I mean, if I'm away from the person I'm with for a year, what would our relationship be? Factor in the ridiculous price of a plane ticket and the difference in time zone, and you've got a recipe for a stagnating relationship. To me, relationships are like plants, meant to be constantly nurtured so that they may grow into something beautiful and symbolic. Simply put, I felt that this was not possible, given our circumstances. I don't mean to sound so pretentious, but I guess it's the only way I can express it at the moment.
But everything is easier when it's in your head. In reality, it was difficult, as I hate nothing more than potentially hurting others with my actions. I wish I could find the words to express how important she still is to me as a friend. Some days-- days like these, I'm not so good with words, even when I need to be.
But let's think positive. I need to keep my eyes on the prize. The more I focus on love, the further I am from being in the mindset to study hard. Now, I can commit more time in these coming months to perfecting my Japanese speaking skills.
Something you may or may not know about me is that I LOVE horror. See, back when I was a writer, one of my passions was crafting manic fever-dreams that took the form of short stories. Granted, these were never very good, but I enjoyed developing my literary technique nevertheless! In fact, I'd say that my leisure writing projects almost exclusively involved horror in some form.
As such, it probably doesn't come as a shocker that I adore both horror films and games. As cringeworthy as I find the Resident Evil series to be, I loved Resident Evil 7 to death. Hell, it's one of my favorite games of all time! With the remake of Resident Evil 2 having released last month, I've been having a blast with it! That lingering sense of dread, increasing with every passing moment, makes me feel more alive than ever. There's also something poetic about facing ones fears head-on.
I feel that this has been a theme in my life lately.
Oh yeah, and I'm playing the game in Japanese, just for that little bit of extra practice!
Anywho, that's enough about my life. For all of you that finished reading this, I'm sorry my post was a little dry tonight. I promise that my next post will knock your socks off!
じゃあね!
-Jacob
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