I Did College, Majored In Smart, Concocted Ways To Be Useless and Poor

It's been a while, guys!

My leave of absence this semester wasn't for my typical reasons-- I didn't forget, as I was relatively involved with my blog over the past summer. Oh, the posts that never made it to the public. Truth be told, I was an emotional wreck, and this was the only emotional outlet I had. I was a beast, howling in pain amid a room with only myself and people dumb enough to not know that blogging is a dead medium. But I'm not trying to lose half of my readers with my cynical and playfully jaded comments, so I'd like to formally apologize.

No, the reason I've been gone for so long is because I wouldn't know what to say. Sure, there are memories that I'd like to hold onto, such as my adventures with a straggler I found outside of my apartment, in need of a place to stay. I guess that I've ramped my blog, this summer, into a huge melodramatic orgy that just can't be topped. Reading my flurry of posts over the past year is cringeworthy to say the least, and honestly, I'd delete them if they weren't such an important relic of my then deteriorating emotional state.

I like to downplay this summer in my mind when comparing it to the blatantly depressing summer that came before it. The truth is, I was hemorrhaging perhaps more than ever. I had, in totality, denounced a toxic friend of mine I've known for about 10 years, was on the last legs of crippling lust for someone I was stockholmed into loving, and I was slaving away in the prison cell of La Piazza with little recourse. These were components of probably the most depressing summer I can imagine, and while I'm in no way trying to evoke pity, I hope you can understand why I needed a break for a while. The more I typed, and the more hours I devoted to reflecting on these things in my life, the lower I sank. The important thing about moving forward is that you must first relinquish the pain of the past, along with the thoughts of things you wish you'd done differently. That's what I did, and I was happier because of it.

This semester, I reminded myself what it was like to angry again. While I wasn't weighed down by loneliness like I was last semester, things are never easy when you're alone. Honestly, college has been the most trying period of my life. I guess you can say, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

Tomorrow's the final frontier of my college career. Tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for for as long as I can remember. Tomorrow marks the last exam I'll ever take here at ECU, and with this, I'll earn my right to graduate.

I was gonna type more, but I'm actually good for now. I got all the unimportant stuff out of the way with this post, so next time, I'll have only the juicy bits to report on! :)

There's lots to talk about, so stick around!

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