The end of the summer has brought with it a wave of anxiety and bitter vibes in the stream of otherwise happy thoughts.
I guess that most of these feelings are associated with the stress of my school and my mom.
A similar thing happened last summer, only more extreme. See, I wasn't able to pay for school because I missed the deadline to fill out my FAFSA, which deals with my student loans and all that. Basically, I was prepared to not go to school that semester, which brought about the anxiety of having to stay in college even longer than the extra year/semester than I needed to. Mix that with a heaping dose of depression, and you've got a deadly combo. Fortunately, things worked out just fine, so those awful feelings evaporated, almost as quickly as they appeared. I owe that to my then newfound love for Persona and meeting new people that would end up being a big part of my life.
This year, I'm kind of on razor's edge, as I just filled out the FAFSA after my schedule was supposed to be cancelled, but for some reason, they're still there. That'd be comforting news if my financial aid showed up as paid on my student account.
I'm not gonna talk about this anymore, though, because I know it's boring, but I just wanted to let you know what was going on, ya know?
Anyway, onto the exciting stuff! First, let's talk about the most recent event!
August 4th 2018 is the day that I finally asked Carleigh to be my girlfriend. I mean, it's only taken years, but I finally built up the courage. She's a wonderful person who I've enjoyed spending time with for years now. I met her my senior year of high school, when she was a freshman herself. The age gap was a little iffy back then, but I don't think that's what stopped me before. Despite that, since we're both in college and (relatively) functioning adults, the time felt right! :)
Ya boy Jacob's back in the game! I'm not going to jump into things too quickly this time. I'm just going to take all the time I need and enjoy things. I'll keep you posted with the deets.
It's funny how I always say that, but I never do. You'll hear about this one some way or another.
My mom's not doing so well right now. It's a long story, so I'll spare you most of the details, but what you need to know is that she's in a really bad place right now. She started seeing this dude, and it turns out he's not only a literal meth head, but he's also a career criminal who could be a danger to her or my other family members. He's done some HORRIBLE things to her, and that infuriates me. I hope ends up in prison for his sins, because he's lower than garbage.
School's coming around soon! This is my last week of my work, and if I'm honest, it couldn't come sooner! I should be moving back into my apartment sometime next week. A change of scenery, a new level of freedom, and a new school year is probably what I need to get myself out of this "on again, off again" slump I've been in.
If I could reflect upon this summer, I'd say it's been relatively quiet. I've been occupied with World of Warcraft and the Persona Dancing games, which is really nice, and the depression isn't grabbing at me again. I wouldn't blame last summer purely on the pills, but now I can see that they were a huge part of it. I was silently suffering, and now that I'm here, a little more than a year later, I can see how much better I'm feeling.
This year, in general, has been one of the most emotional and stimulating yet. I feel like I've done so much growing as a person, and even though I'm sitting here, typing this blog post at my computer, I can see more clearly than before that adventure, like it inevitably is, is always around the corner!
It was another short post today. Honestly, I could have gone on plenty, but I'm practicing brevity. I'm sure my serial readers will appreciate it. Fortunately, I'm seeing a rise in viewership, which is always welcome! :D
As always, I appreciate you for reading this! Have a nice rest of your day/night/morning.
I think I'll be back sooner than last time. No promises, though.
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