Hey all! It's been a bit, hasn't it?
You know how I had that blog binge ever since March? Well, you might be thinking that I've gone back to my old ways of abandoning the blog for an extended period of time the way I did in the past. Well, you're not completely wrong.
In my defense, I had a post I was working on about a week or two ago where I showed off my recently-shaven head and my new tattoo. I'm not sure what made me stop writing it, but it's going into the archive of all the other unfinished posts, I guess!
These past couple of weeks have been interesting, to say the least. There's no sense of the summertime sadness that dominated me last year, and I've been rather productive and active in my life recently.
First and foremost, I got my job back at La Piazza. If you delve into my older posts, you'll know how much I detest the place, but I've been trying to keep a positive attitude at work. This has been working well in my favor, and I've never felt better. Plus, Katie's not there, and nor is Lisa, so all possible things that could get on my nerves have evaporated from my life.
Remember Carleigh from last post? Well, my unfinished post also concerned her. See, I was in the state of mind of not knowing what to think about our friendship. We hung out together a couple of times, and we even got our tattoos together. We had a blast both times we went on "dates," and I was getting good vibes. I just didn't know whether I should have asked her out or not. I'm kinda low-key glad that I dodged that bullet. No disrespect to her (she and I still talk every now and again, and are planning to hang out again soon,) but I'm starting to think that I was just looking for a rebound. That's so unlike me, really. I think she's a lovely person, but she acts really apathetic sometimes, and that seems like it would be a problem if we ever dated.
God, my writing style tonight is so dry. Sorry, guys.
Remember when I alluded that "abandoning" the blog wasn't a completely false statement? Well, allow me to explain.
As you could have probably guessed, things were really emotional for me. There were so many things on the upswing in my life that came crashing down on that one fateful day. And ever since then, all I've ever wanted is to talk to someone about it. I've wanted to scream out in pain from the rooftops like a dying animal. I was fractured and broken. These wounds, as the saying goes, have been healed with time. Sure, it irks me every other day, and I wish I could turn back time, but the more rational half of my consciousness knows this was all for the best.
There's so much that I want to say here, but I know that I cannot. I need to be sure that the wounds are closed before telling you all my final assessment of everything. My wounds will be gone soon, and I've considered everything that I've written about the situation in the past. My thoughts have changed, but I've avoided delving into them, as I want to treat the involved parties with respect. Until further notice, when I can be sure that my blog is nothing more than an afterthought to the people involved, I'm not going to talk about them or allude to them anymore. That's a promise.
My hair's growing back. I liked the bald look, and I got used to it. I was met with a pleasant surprise-- my family, friends, and coworkers really liked the way I looked with a shaved head. I liked it too, but I wanna see what my hair would look like if I grew it back out, just out of curiosity. The thing is, I really like the hair, like I said, but I keep looking at all these photos of myself with hair, and I feel that I look so much better WITH hair. Bald is a classy and dangerous (dangerous as in smooth) look, but it makes me look a bit older than I actually am, so I'm gonna see what I can do with it. If it doesn't grow out well, I can always just shave it again.
I've really been enjoying World of Warcraft in full-force lately, and it's consuming a lot of my time. I couldn't be happier! :D
Yesterday, (okay, well it's technically the day before yesterday at this point,) one of the most talented musicians in modern music passed away. His name is Xxxtentacion (or simply "X," as most people call him), and he was shot while driving his car. When I found out the news, it felt so surreal. It felt like that scene in Doki Doki Literature Club where you find Sayori hanging from a noose in her bedroom. It just felt... wrong. I proceeded to spend the next 4 hours on Twitter finding out as much as I could about the incident. X's music was really inspirational, and he was an extremely talented artist. I don't listen to much rap, but X got me through some hard times in my life. I've even featured his music in a hidden link back in (I think) December 2016. Just as he was turning his life around, tragedy struck, and sent a shockwave through the community. X was the first person to really help me come to terms with my feelings of depression and self-worth, and for that, I owe him a lot. My old roommate Lestat and I loved his music, and I don't know how he'll react when he finds out the news. In a world where trends come and go in the blink of an eye, I can assure you that Xxxtentacion was so much more than that, and I'll never forget what he did for me. Rest in peace, X.
Well shit, this has been a hella depressing post. I guess I'll end it with some good news, then.
I've been talking to my dad over that past few days, and it's been a very nice experience catching up with him after all these years. I gave both he and my mom the link to my blog, so if either/ both of you are watching this, I wanted to say hi!
Talk to you guys sooner rather than later.
No comments:
Post a Comment