Hey all!
I don't know why, but I'm kinda out of it right now. That's a shame, because the new Dance Gavin Dance album just leaked, and I won't be able to judge it right now.
I moved in with my aunt Suzie for the summer, but I'm not sure if this'll be a permanent thing. Only time will tell, I guess!
For such a small span of time, there are plenty of little things that I've been up to. The first of these is that I *finally* got the chance to order Persona 3 Dancing Moon Night. I've been playing and enjoying it so far, even though I can't read Japanese (past me would be so disappointed). I think I'll keep at it to improve, too! I want to unlock all of the costumes and trophies for the game, so I'll definitely get my money's worth with this one! It's nice to see these old Persona characters given the treatment they deserve with the Persona 5-esque models and art style.
I've also been playing a lot of Danganronpa lately. The first game, while admittedly lackluster in the story department, enraptured me as what I can describe as a "guilty pleasure." To my delight, the second game, which I just started last night, seems to have REALLY stepped it up in the writing department. This is shaping up to be my favorite entry in the series yet!
There are a few changes to my style I'd like to note-- and these are big ones, to be sure! Firstly, I got my glasses. I've needed them for so long, and I'm so glad that I can finally see in crystal-clear HD. I mean, even things I thought I could see perfectly fine look blurry in comparison to when I'm wearing these glasses. I'm so grateful to have these new spectacles, and I think I look darn good in them, if I might brag.
Additionally, for better or for worse, I have made the decision to shave my head. Yes, I'm gonna live my life as a bald man. I mean, no one *chooses* to lose their hair, but when we do, we have the choice as to whether or not we will accept the cruel realities of life with poise. I'm excited to try a whole bunch of different clothing styles to accompany my lifestyle changes, as well as deciding whether or not I wanna rock a beard with it. Sometimes I get nervous about it, and I wonder if I'll hate it or if I'll lose my chances of scoring with girls. To that, I guess I can rationally say that I shouldn't value the opinions of people who wouldn't give me a chance because of my hairstyle (or lack thereof). Ever since I decided to do this, I've been noticing the bald people I see in my everyday life. Surprisingly, most of them look good with a bald head, and they look natural. I know nobody minds as much as I seem to, but I just want to be attractive, you know? I'll keep you updated, and I'll be sure to post a picture when I do it! :) I have the clippers, and I'm raring to go. I think it'll be tomorrow, but who knows?
I'm a little bit better now. I had to run down stairs to grab the two-liter Diet Pepsi I had in the fridge. I feel like tonight's gonna be a long night, with the options of WoW, Dancing Moon Night, and Danganronpa 2 all being available to me at the moment.
Finally, there's the issue of Chance. Yeah, I don't know at this point. I just don't know what to think about him at the moment. He said something that hurt my feelings, and that people who bore witness (either first or secondhand) tell me that what he said to me was fucked up. Basically, I'm upset with him because he doesn't feel the need to apologize to me because he doesn't want to humble himself. Nobody calls him out on his bullshit, myself included. I had two choices at the time he talked shit to me. This reminds me a lot of my ex, too. I could have just sat there and taken the extremely offensive insult and thought nothing of it, or I can do myself service and not forgive him unless he expresses remorse. He, of course, didn't. I don't wanna say I think he's a cunt, but the way he handled the situation was terrible. He needs to realize that the world doesn't always have to revolve around him, and he exhibited a total lack of compassion in that situation. Instead, he guilt tripped me into forgiving him. I would have forgiven him the instant he apologized to me, but he says he doesn't feel the need. He wanted to have the upper hand in the situation; he wanted to express his inadequate "apology" on his own terms. It's clear to me that he's not actually sorry, and I hope he changes his mind. Sadly, I don't think he will. See, Parrish and I were his friends, and I just recently came back into their lives. We had a disagreement, and I apologized for my part. This time, we stopped talking because he decided to make a hurtful comment, and then expected me to forgive him immediately without giving me time to let the hurt go.
Now, I have the chance to see his true colors. Will he realize what he's done, and sincerely apologize, or will he just go on living in his fantasy wherein he doesn't have to act like a normal and functional human being? I mean, he has a couple new friends now, so he doesn't need Parrish and I anymore; he has that girl he has a crush on and another friend, Erin, who is admittedly a cool guy. I think that girl has caused him to lose sight of the people who have stuck with him, bullshit and all, throughout these years. Hopefully, if such a thing exists, he'll pay his karmic debt in due time. I'm not the one in control of that, though.
It's in the hardest times we grow the most.
Plenty more things have happened recently, but I think I'll hold off for now! I'm just going to talk about one more thing that's been on my mind, and then I'll sign off for tonight.
There's this girl named Danie. If you've read my older posts, you might recognize the name. (See "You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On the Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds") I don't know man. I feel like she was an opportunity that slipped through my fingers. I think that she, perhaps at one point, had a crush on me. I tagged her in a post on Instagram today, and it necessitated me scrolling through all of my old messages with her from back in 2013. Those were the days, man. We had such great banter, Danie and I. She felt like a little sister to me at the time, but truth be told, I kinda had a thing for her. She kinda had this intimidating edge to her, but I loved that about her. We don't talk all that much anymore, but I wish she would contact me more. I don't think she hates me by any metric, but she seems to be doing her own thing these days. This is nothing major, just a small thought I had today.
I enjoy revisiting memories from my past. Who knows what the future holds?
Call my name and drag it through the mud.
No comments:
Post a Comment