Thursday, March 3, 2016

Downwards, Encompassing, Apocrypha, Ceilings

Hey!

So it's been a day or two since my last post, and I'd like to be more diligent about posting as often as possible.

I've been going through a lot lately, so I hope that I can more frequently use this blog as means to dump my feelings into what may or may not become a pool of run-of-the-mill teenage angst.

I'm sitting here, once again, in the library. The difference, of course, is that I'm not trying to kill time or anything. Maybe I am, but that's beside the point. I'm actually in my English class, looking up scholarly sources for an annotated bibliography that we were assigned. Not looking forward to finishing it >.<

Kinda off-topic (as if to imply that we established any sort of topic at all), there's this really cute girl sitting behind me. I felt like saying that for some reason. You guys know how I am ;)

Soooo to establish a topic, my story has been completed, and I really don't know how I feel about it. I feel as though it will be received much more positively than my last, as I used the feedback I received to more effectively pander to the simple-minded assholes in my writing class. I don't want to sound arrogant, because those people are quite insightful and (most of them) are excellent writers, but I feel that the criticism they had about my first story was misplaced to a certain degree. This being the case, I tried to keep it simple, and capitalized on the things they liked.

The story was supposed to be a loves story, and I intended it to be until the very last second. I was honestly stuck in the dilemma of having to create about 500 more words worth of dialogue that would serve as both a believable backstory for the female, and create an excuse for the two characters to actually fall "in love". I saw two possibilities for that problem, really. Power through it, developing an abusive father type relationship/"I'm so alone in this world" sob-story, or I could just make it a story with a horror plot-twist. You already know that I went with the latter. And I had tons of fun writing that part. I honestly thought it'd be boring to have a full-on love story anyway. I mean, as an author, I feel as though it's my responsibility to sate the readers' lust for carnage.

As for the issues I've been going through, I'll briefly touch on those, hoping to go for more of an in-depth look at them in my next post.

Essentially, I didn't have any e-juice for my e-cig, so I was already in a shitty mood, but I also was dealing with the weight of all of the assignments I had due within a short time frame, chiefly the intensive-writing assignments. Don't get me wrong, I love writing; I'd write on my blog all day if I had a schedule that could accommodate it. But I feel that I can be more of myself in my informal writings, because I don't care if literally no one reads it. When I'm writing for school, I feel the pressure of having to impress someone or group of people, which isn't something I naturally worry about. I do, however, have to consider how the other party will receive my writing, and model it accordingly, which generally takes time and effort, and that just sucks.

I wonder if anyone does actually read this anymore. I often find myself writing about the same things over and over and over. Girls, stories, "help me i'm depress3d". I'll try to keep my content a little more fresh in order to avoid boring any potential readers (or myself).

That's it for now!
Later!
-Jacob

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