Happiness is a wonderful thing. This is something I've come to realize over these past few months. I never quite realized what a positive experience just being alive could be.
It's not easy removing toxic things from your life, but when you do, it makes everything so much more sweet. For me personally, I've eliminated my stress by seeking medical attention.
It turns out that I had ADHD. I've begun drinking nothing but water, and I feel so energetic and frankly euphoric. For so long, I've clinged to the obscure pleasures of recognition and esteem; All that made me happy was other people thinking that I was wonderful, no matter how undeserved. My happiness only lied within both love and lust. The need for sex was such a powerful driving force for me before, and living that way was truly pathetic (in my situation, anyway). Love, on the same side of the coin, was even more important to me. The feeling of being wanted was not simply something I craved, but something I required to feel truly valid.
Making positive life choices is simply a matter of willpower. Well, perhaps said anomaly is a product of revelation. It's about appreciating the smaller things in life. The phrase "It's not about the destination, it's about the journey." is something I live by, and something I hold dear.
The game Undertale has helped me come to realize this. I must say, it's been years since a piece of media has touched me the way Undertale has. In minutes, its quirky dialogue, powerful narrative and engaging gameplay sucked me into what I'd soon realize to be my favorite video game ever. Its plot is too long to explain in this modest blog post (although I have written novellas in the form of blog posts before), but this game has changed my life for the better. It's so very hard to explain. One of the things I can say, however, is that when you've found that one thing in life that makes you so happy, that it makes you realize that you don't necessarily need anyone else to make you smile and enjoy life, embrace it. It's little things like this blog that really make me smile. I know that no one's reading, but it's certainly been here waiting for me as I've gone through the best and worst of times.
As I reach the home-stretch of the first semester of this school year, and the year of 2015 as a whole, I feel that I've gained a lot. I recognize that I've grown as a human being, and I sincerely hope that I continue to grow to overcome all of my fears and inhibitions. But hey, that's what makes us human, right? :)
-Jacob
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