Between being unable to access a computer and being on Tumblr, I've neglected this blog. But then again, I always complain about neglecting this blog. I never really intend to stop using it, but considering how little I use it anyway, it wouldn't be such a big deal.
These past couple of weeks have been... well... meh. That's the only real way to describe it. I mean, they're not completely awful (in fact, some of them have been pretty fun), but I must admit that I've been completely bored lately. Actually, one of the most pressing issues is that a friend of mine who I care about a lot is mad at me. It took me a little while to understand why she was mad, but I think I understand now. If I'm completely wrong about what it is, I must be blind. But regardless of anything that's happened, I want to take this opportunity to really express how much she means to me.
So her name is Carlie. Or uhm... pronounced like that (I'm not sure how to spell that), but she goes by Frank, which is quite an odd name for a girl, I must admit. Why she'd allow people to call her that is beyond me. Anyhow, many of her friends call her Danie. Which I still don't get, because apparently it's short for Danielle, and her mum called her "Carlie". I don't understand fully. She's a woman of many names I suppose. But none of that really matters. So to be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure when I met her. She was just one of those friends who kind of crept into my life. The first time I remember seeing her was on a overcast day in late September. I believe I was trapped inside because the group of friends I normally associated with all hung out with my ex-girlfriend, Viki, who hated my guts at the time. Awkwardly sitting alone had it's peaceful moments, but there was this hole in my heart that made me feel like nobody really cared. A friend on mine, Brent, approached me on this day, and asked me why I was all alone. I didn't go into specifics. We began to have a conversation, and eventually, he said "Let's go outside". I was sort of unsettled by this, but the thought of hanging out with my other friends was just an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. So I followed him outside. When I got there, there she sat. This Danie girl. Except everyone called her Zanzibar, or something (Like I said, a woman of many names). Of course, I never called her that. Brent and I were making small-talk of music and post-hardcore bands that we liked. At some point, I remember him screaming. No, not like a shriek of terror, but like a screamo scream to imitate his favorite band, Memphis May Fire. Danie spoke up, "Wow, Brent, your screams suck.", which was absolutely hilarious to me. I couldn't do screams either, but I tried a deathcore growl, and failed miserably. But Danie said "That... was beautiful". Words I'd never forget. Words that would always remind me of the first time I met her.
This girl actually introduced me to one of the girlfriends I had. Would it be crazy to say that she's actually dating that girl now? But she and I had been decent enough friends as it was, but I always felt like she was really close to this girl, Marin. You know, the one I wrote about in one of my recent posts. Anyway, after the relationship I had with Marin went to complete shit, I tried to avoid her as much as possible to make things less awkward. I mean, I could only imagine how she would have reacted had I approached her. Especially considering how much she beats herself up. But that's besides the point. But regardless, these two girls had been the only real friends I had. As stupid as it sounds. I mean, things were awkward between Colin and I because of what happened with Marin. And I didn't really like anyone else. Sometimes I feel like even Marin and Danie don't even like me. I mean, Danie is mad at me because of that post I made about my take on the whole Marin relationship. And at first, I didn't know what it was that set her off. I was just writing. And she was so mad at me, which hurt me a lot.
And recently, I've come to realize why she was so angry at me. It was really simple. I sure hope I'm right. But I think she's mad at me because of the Marin post. Not only how I kinda bashed on her girlfriend (even if it was all true), but how I never really talked about her (Danie), or mentioned that she was actually dating Marin at the time. And I was talking about how I still liked her and all that junk. Well shit, gotta go. it's 2:19. almost time for school to let out. I might expand this
So you've figured it out
ReplyDeleteYeep :c Be my friend again.
DeleteI guess so. :P
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